I think it's safe to say my childhood was unusual. My father was a pastor from the time I was a baby until I was nine before he took a break. For a long time, I more or less had friends handed to me. Every kid wanted to be my friend because I was the pastor's kid or because their parents told them to. It's not a great foundation for friendship.
As a kid, I remember feeling like something was off. Every once in a while, someone would say something like, "I'm only friends with you because I have to be." Or, "I don't really like you." Let me just say, even as a kid I could hear the grain of truth behind those statements. They were forced to interact with me, but many of them didn't really want to. It was unfair of their parents and mine to force us to interact with each other. I do believe that stunted my ability to make friends on my own.
Then we have the issue of false conversion. This happens when you talk a good talk until you believe yourself. This is what happened to my father. He wasn't a Christian while he was pastoring. I know this is confusing but bear with me. When he got saved, it was noticeable. His entire life turned around, I witnessed it as an eight-year-old. He had a sudden zeal for the gospel he didn't really have before. And then he quit being a pastor because he didn't feel qualified as a newly saved Christian.
That is when we moved again. I ended up in Texas for six years of my life and needed to learn how to make friends. Which was basically teaching me a new "peopleing" thing that I never really learned on my own. (I was also home-schooled, but that has nothing to do with it. My sister was great at making friends) I more or less tagged along behind my sister and still didn't make my own friends. Added to the fact I was painfully shy, my sister was like my crutch and I was her protector. Two sister's against the world, it was amusing for the world.
My childhood is actually very complicated and um...I will focus on individual stories from here on out.
As a kid, I remember feeling like something was off. Every once in a while, someone would say something like, "I'm only friends with you because I have to be." Or, "I don't really like you." Let me just say, even as a kid I could hear the grain of truth behind those statements. They were forced to interact with me, but many of them didn't really want to. It was unfair of their parents and mine to force us to interact with each other. I do believe that stunted my ability to make friends on my own.
Then we have the issue of false conversion. This happens when you talk a good talk until you believe yourself. This is what happened to my father. He wasn't a Christian while he was pastoring. I know this is confusing but bear with me. When he got saved, it was noticeable. His entire life turned around, I witnessed it as an eight-year-old. He had a sudden zeal for the gospel he didn't really have before. And then he quit being a pastor because he didn't feel qualified as a newly saved Christian.
That is when we moved again. I ended up in Texas for six years of my life and needed to learn how to make friends. Which was basically teaching me a new "peopleing" thing that I never really learned on my own. (I was also home-schooled, but that has nothing to do with it. My sister was great at making friends) I more or less tagged along behind my sister and still didn't make my own friends. Added to the fact I was painfully shy, my sister was like my crutch and I was her protector. Two sister's against the world, it was amusing for the world.
My childhood is actually very complicated and um...I will focus on individual stories from here on out.
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